Pastor Appreciation: What Your Pastor Really Wants!

October is Pastor Appreciation Month!  Many churches and church members get busy thinking about how they can bless their Pastor and let him know how much he is loved and appreciated.  

And while I am not a Pastor, I am a Pastor’s wife (I was even a Pastor’s girlfriend for about 6 months before we married)! 😉 Over the years, I have picked up on a few things that my husband really wants or even needs from His congregation. 

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This might not be exactly what you are thinking of when you are looking for ideas for gifts, let me encourage you to stick with me… because if your pastor is anything like my husband, these “gifts” would be worth more to him than anything material!

Your Pastor Needs Your Prayers!

You many not really think about this one a whole lot, maybe you feel like as close as your Pastor is (or is supposed to be) to the Lord, what could your prayers matter?  But they do!

My husband has commented before that he really feels when church members are praying for him!  And guess what else? Our prayers will help get our own hearts ready to hear and receive God’s word!  

Also, remember to pray for him in his daily life and walk with God.  The devil desires to trip up or destroy the witness of God’s men, but pray for them to continue strong in their faith! 

Your Pastor Needs You to Tell Him What You Need

Pastors are in a unique position to shepherd an entire congregation.  This number can vary of course from 10 or 15 in smaller churches to several thousands in mega churches!

But if you need something (i.e. to be prayed with, a question answered, a visit to a sick family member, etc.) you need to tell you Pastor what it is that you need!

Pastors, although connected with God, are not mind-readers!  They want to do all they can, within reason, but if they don’t know about an issue, they won’t be able to help you!

Your Pastor Needs You (And Your Children) to Be At Church

I feel like I need to take a deep breath before diving into this one!  =) The Bible says, “not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near.”


I was teaching a youth lesson a few years ago, and I asked the group, “what would make church better for you?”  

A young woman replied, “If everyone came!” 
I completely agree with her on this!  We need all of our members, just like a body needs all of its parts , to function at our best! 

I absolutely love this quote that I found:

Church attendance is as vital to a disciple as a transfusion of rich, healthy blood to a sick man.

                             – Dwight L. Moody

What truth, but so often we feel like going to church is drudgery!  Don’t think that Pastor and their wives don’t feel that way too sometimes!  However, every time I drag myself to a church service that I don’t feel like going to, I leave with a deeper blessing and filling up than I would ever have had I stayed at home!

And by  worshiping together, we can encourage and lift up each other throughout the hard times in our lives!  We are brothers and sisters in Christ, let’s stay close as a family!  

quote: the best thing parent can do for church is to bring a carload of family members filled with Jesus back with them each week.

We Need To Bring Our Children To Church

And how incredibly important it is for us to bring our children to God’s house each week and teach them what God says in His word.  This should happen at home, but the learning that happens during Sunday school is wonderful!

And modeling church attendance for our children will make it more likely that they will also attend church! And one day, you grandchildren may reap the blessings of your faithfulness in bringing you children to church!

Know That We Are All In This Together! 

And if you will jump in and WORK for the Lord in your church and community, I promise you that you will get SO MUCH MORE from being at church each week.  And you will bless your Pastor and all of the other members by jumping in and working on the same team!

I am a BIG believer in spiritual gifts!  The Bible speaks of many gifts including faith, prophecy, miracles, etc. But I believe that God uses the many other gifts that people have that aren’t mentioned in the scriptures, like carpentry, organizing, cleaning, planning, etc.

people standing in the shape of a cross  


So often I feel like people don’t get plugged into church and working for the Lord! Maybe it’s because they think that if they are not Sunday school Teachers, song leaders, or VBS coordinators, they can’t work for the Lord.  But God wants to use each one of us, and the Bible says that whatever we do, do it all to the glory of God!

So maybe you will glorify God by helping plan the meals at your church, or maybe showing hospitality to others in your home.  One of my friends wanted to get more involved with God’s work, so she started praying that God would give her a job at church.  And He did! She started helping out in Sunday School and she has been such a great help because she is so willing!  God will use a willing person!!!

Realize That You Have A Job In Your Church

Right before Jesus ascended into Heaven, at the end of the 40 days following His crucifixion & resurrection, He told His disciples

“All power is given unto me in heaven and in earth. Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.”  

Matthew 28:18-20

These verses are what we often refer to as the Great Commission!  This is where Jesus tells His disciple to carry the gospel to the whole world.  And just in case you are thinking that that may not include you since you aren’t a preacher, think again!!!

silhouette of cross

I believe that we as believers are called to reach out to others and show them the love of Jesus no matter where we live!  We are missionaries even if we are living in the same small town that we grew up in! There are people that need to know Jesus all over the world, including in our own backyard!

Come to Church Ready To Hear God’s Word!


I always think about how important it is for us to be ready to worship God… primed, is the word that comes to my mind!  

When a patient is getting IV fluids, the nurse does not just hook and empty tubing up! The nurse allows the fluid to come all the way thru the tubing so when it’s hooked up, the fluid will start dripping into the patient right away!

Church in field


So often, I come to church thinking about what I need to get at the grocery store, or tired from a late night watching TV!  What if I came primed? I could make and intentional effort to ready my heart and mind before arriving at church! I would get so much more out of the service! Then I could truly worship God instead of worrying about my to do list! What if we all did this?  What a blessing that would be to our Pastors, and more importantly God, to have an engaged congregation ready to fully worship our God!

Your Pastor Needs Your Encouragement

The devil works hard on Pastors and others doing God’s work.  They often fight discouragement and fatigue! That’s why lifting your pastor up in prayer is so important!  It’s also important to tell them that they are appreciated, each week, not just in October!  

thank you written on individual notes

I know there are times when people may become unhappy with their pastors.  Just remember, that you have a direct connection to The One who can work everything out for you and your church!  Don’t neglect spending time in prayer!! God can work mightily in your heart, your pastor’s heart and in your entire church!!

Your Pastor Needs You to Love His Family!

Maybe this one should say, your Pastor and his wife need you to love their family! Being a preacher’s wife can be hard at times, so can being a PK (preacher’s kid)!  My children can be a little… rambunctious at times.  And our church family has been so wonderful to us to just love us and our wild kiddos anyway!  I want my children to behave, of course, but it’s important that we not put different expectations on Pastor’s children than we would other children.  Sometime they just need to let them be little!

It’s also been such a blessing to have a church that jumps in to watch over our children as though they were their own!  Sometimes I play the piano or visit with other members after church and don’t always have my children in view. However,I know that someone has their eyes on my little ones and is watching out for them!  Our kids are well loved and watched over by many people who love them, and that is something that I truly appreciate!

Please understand, I am not wanting to discourage anyone from showing your pastor appreciation and love in tangible ways! However, I would like to challenge you to make serving God and your church your priority. This will bless your Pastor (and you) even more than any material thing that you might offer!  A church family that is plugged in and united in God’s work will carry out the Great Commission!

quote: a growing church sees that the work of the ministry should be done by all. Neil T. Anderson

Are you still looking for some great ideas for a Pastor appreciation gift?  Check out this post from Happy Home Fairy with LOTS of thoughtful suggestions!

And please share any other fun ideas that you do for Pastor Appreciation month in the comments below! 

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