STOP Comparing Ourselves: Appreciating the Green Grass in Our Own Yard!
We live in a day in time that we can see what is happening in other people’s lives at just about any time with relative ease! A friend post a picture of an awesome anniversary dinner at a swanky new restaurant. My college roommate shows pictures of her family on the beach while she wears a bikini with a seemingly pre-baby body. All of this while I am sitting home in my yoga pants, eating ice cream feeling like I need to workout …my life is SO BORING!?
“I mean really, why can’t my husband get it together at take me somewhere nice for our anniversary?”
“And why don’t I look like a supermodel on the beach, I’m never putting on a bathing suit again!!”
Suddenly, I am upset about things that I didn’t even know about 10 minuets ago! Now, I’m going to make my husband feel guilty to not “showing” his love more (do I want him to show his love to me, or Facebook?). And I’m going to starve myself into misery for the next week while beating myself up for getting so out of shape in the first place.
Comparison. It’s an old game that we humans play. Proverbs 14:30 warns: “A sound heart is the life of the flesh: but envy the rottenness of the bones.” So, how do we stop this game of constantly trying to measure ourselves against others? How can we change out mindset so we can stop comparing ourselves and not always feel less than others?
Stop Playing the (Comparison) Game
If you recognize that seeing other’s “highlight reel” sets off jealousy and discontent, then take a break from social media. This doesn’t have to be a permanent break, but you might just find that your life goes smoother and you are happier when you concentrate your efforts on your own business. In 1 Thessalonians 4:11 Paul instructs the Thessalonian believers to:
“… study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you…”
If we take Paul’s advice, we may have to wait to hear news the old-fashioned way, by word of mouth!
While social media is not in and of itself bad, it is important for us to check ourselves and our motives for posting and our reactions to others’ posts. It may be that we need to step away for a while to gain some perspective!
Praying To Stop Comparing Ourselves
It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, likely that is why God commanded us to not covet another’s possessions or spouse. You see, the grass has appeared greener on the other side for thousands of years.
Take some time to talk to God about this issue of comparison. We should ask Him to take away any jealousy or covetousness from our heart! Also, we should be sure to thank Him for our own blessings!
Recognize Our Own Blessings
Thanking our Heavenly Father for the MANY blessing He has poured out on us is a wonderful way to turn the tables on jealousy! We need to spend more time counting our blessings instead of focusing on other people’s lives!
Realize That We Don’t Know the Whole Story
There is a reason the old adage says the grass is greener ON THE OTHER SIDE…. because the “other side” is far away, our vision isn’t as clear when we are looking that far away. It’s almost like a mirage, it seems to be one thing until you get to it and realize it isn’t that thing at all! No one really knows what is going on in another person’s life and heart. That’s why we are to pour our energy into our own lives, not what we think others’ lives are!
Let Your Own Priorities Guide Your Life
It’s easy for us to see someone’s “highlights” and suddenly feel like we need to be working toward whatever they have. “I want a new car, and to go on a cruise, and to lose 50 pounds….” What we have to realize is that our priorities have to guide our own lives!
When our twins were a year old we bought a used van. It wasn’t fancy, but is got us around and ran well for several years. After a while, it had dings on the exterior and rips in the upholstery, and I started to feel pretty self-conscious when I would see other moms driving shiny, new vehicles!
But what I had to keep in mind was that our family’s priority is that I don’t work more than part time so I can stay home with our children as much as possible. If I had suddenly adopted someone else’s priorities, I would have made a mistake that could have cost me time at home with my babies!
Recognizing and even writing our family priorities down on paper can help guide us thru some of these difficult situations. We need to have something to remind us from time when we are tempted to compare ourselves and that can sway us from our ultimate goals!
Allow Yourself To Be Truly Happy For Others
It can be hard for us to see others achieve things that we really want and be happy for them, but with prayer and realizing our many blessings, we can learn to be truly happy for others. Let us pray that we can be true friends that can love and rejoice with others in their happiness. This will never come naturally to us as humans, but with God’s help, we can!
Apparently, we will never be immune to comparison. But, with God’s help, we can guard our hearts and embrace how God has made us and our family. After all, he didn’t create us to be just like any other person. So when your tempted to compare yourself and your life to others, remember, you can’t compare apples and oranges!
Do you struggle with comparing yourself or your family to others? What do you do to keep yourself from getting discouraged when seeing other’s successes in an area that you are working?
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