An Overwhelmed Mom’s Guide To Making A Connection With Her Kids!
Life can be so busy that we spend more time connecting with telemarketers than truly making a connection with our kids! This can be such a source of guilt for us as moms, but it doesn’t have to be this way.
We spend so much time planning the big moments in life. The birthdays, vacations, holidays, special dinners, and on and on…. and I LOVE planning big things (Just ask my husband! =) Really, I thrive on projects and to-do list. However, I do not thrive on the everyday mundane chores. The big to-do lists that lead up to events and parties and programs. Yep, that is what gets me excited! But my everyday to-do list of doing laundry and cooking supper…. not so much.
This is a constant struggle for me. You see, I want to really connect with my family every day, but often I see them as obstacles. They are the bump in my road to progress on my “big stuff”. Even when I know in my heart of hearts that they are the big stuff!
Making a Connection With Our Family: The Better Part
The apostle Paul wrote Romans 7:15 “for what I would, that I do not; but what I hate, that do I.” And doesn’t that just sum up so much of our human experience? We know in our hearts what is right, that “good part” that Jesus referred to when talking to Martha. But so often we chose the other part. And it’s not that we are choosing something terrible. It is just SO easy for us to chose the less than best part!
So, how do we change this? Specifically, when it comes to our family? I believe we have to find some boundaries on our “projects” and make sure we are all in and ready to connect when we are with our families. Some people call this being intentional.
Setting Limits for Ourselves
I laugh as I type this, because I really find it difficult to be ALL IN anywhere. My brain swirls with ideas and to-dos at about 90 mph almost constantly. But I know I need to set some limits and I would bet that I’m not the only one out there with this struggle. Sometimes, we need to leave our worries and ideas in a safe place so we can move on and be intentional in another area!
Clear Your Head Before Connecting With Your Kids
That is where a brain dump can be helpful! A brain dump will help you clear your head! And then think of what you can accomplish today while you are not with your kids? Be it, before they wake up, after they go to bed, while they are at school or during a quiet few minutes while they play outside.
You may have heard it said that a women are like spaghetti and men are like waffles. That is why as as moms, we need a place to rest our ideas and plans so we don’t have to worry about them constantly while you are trying to connect with our family. Allowing my head get clear of “all the things” is one of my biggest challenges!
Work in Time Blocks
Give yourself an allotted time to work. Whatever time you have, give your “project” your all and then STOP. Don’t keep mulling over things in your head to the point that you can’t listen when your children talk to you or you have to keep running to your phone to look things up (can you tell I’m speaking from experience?). Have a brain dump list in your office or bedroom that you do at the end of your block, and then walk away from it until you have another chunk of spare time to return to it.
Set Aside Time For Connection
Now, make a point of making a connection with your children (or even your spouse) during certain times of the day. If you are a morning person (I am not), this could be at breakfast. It could be while your children are doing homework or you might make a few minutes in the afternoon to read a book together.
One of my struggles is that I am always trying to multitask, which does not lend itself to really making a connection with my kids. Try to make sure that you have supper in the crock pot, the dishes washed, or any other thing that might weigh on your mind so that you can really focus on your child during this time.
Include The Kiddos In Your Routine
My children love to cook with me! And, if truth be told, I would really rather them run along and play than to get in my way while I’m trying frantically to make supper (I’m hiding my face now, please don’t judge). But every so often, one of my boys will sweetly and without asking, just show up in the kitchen, grab a stool, wash his hands and insist on helping. And you know what? It is so nice to have them in there with me!
So maybe you are like me and cooking with your kids feels like an added stress, but you could let them help you clean up the dishes, fold the laundry, etc. One of my sons helped me wash a BUNCH of fruit the other day for a church get-together and he took such pride in it. And it was sweet to see him there helping me and learning along side me. Something this ordinary can be a way of connecting with your kiddos!
Keep it Simple: Finding Extra Time For Making A Connection With Our Kids
Next, simplify things in your home and life so that you can make more time for the things that are truly important. This could mean making quicker meals on weeknights, or even using paper plates on busy nights. I used to never buy paper plates because they didn’t feel “special” enough. But over time, I have realized that they can save my sanity on a busy night, and that is pretty special! Take some time to brainstorm ideas that could simplify your life.
Finally, look for ways to incorporate “special” into the everyday! We don’t have to throw a big party for our kids to have great memories! It could be as simple as letting your little one stir the brownies!
Do you have a special way of connecting with your children? Do you have simple routines or traditions that keep you connected? Please share with me in the comments!
